Music Monday: Getting Over It

The best part of any break-up is the part where it stops hurting. These songs are for when the crying stops and the healing/hating begins. This is the final stop in the roller coaster journey of relationships this February. I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Letting Go by Jessica Harp
In Terms of Love by SHeDAISY
It Take Two by Katy Perry
Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
Stronger by Britney Spears
There’s More to Me than You by Jessica Andrews
Independent Women by Destiny’s Child
Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
Love Me by Katy Perry
Smile by Lily Allen
Now, Now by St. Vincent
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift
Goodbye to You by The Veronicas
Bulletproof by La Roux
Guns by Cvrches
Tears Dry On Their Own by Amy Winehouse

Bookfession: I Check the Last Page

I’m going to confess something about my reading habits. If I’m reading something that is thrilling and puts the main character in mortal peril, sometimes I’ll go and check the last few pages. Not to find out exactly what happens but to make sure they survive their current situation. It lets me relax enough that I can resume reading without hyperventilating or possibly missing something. You know what they say: Knowing is half the battle.

Marching Orders

I was listening to different TedTalks and one of them talked about giving away/ridding yourself of one thing a day for 30 days. I’ve begun to feel surrounded by stuff again so I think this sounds like a very good idea.

Every day in the month of March, I will get rid of something that is just taking up space in my life. I will either sell it online, trash it, or donate it. Every day for the entire month of March. One thing that will really set this trail on fire will be the inevitable influx of birthday presents.

I could include things that I set aside earlier to go to a new home but that would be cheating. Since only a handful of strangers on the internet read this, the only person I’d be cheating would be myself. I’ll keep you posted.

112 Weddings

A documentary filmmaker shot over 100 weddings on the side to make stable income. Over time he thought about what happened to some of those couples. Some he couldn’t find, others didn’t want to talk about it, but he found several who were willing to partake in his latest documentary.

It’s a great example of how life will throw unexpected things at you. Children, career changes, health problems. I was glad that many of the couples had found struggle but stayed together like the couple whose daughter had cancer or the woman with depression.

The depressed couple made me so sad because I could really understand how she felt. She didn’t see the good moments or how her daughter loves her or their bond. She saw herself as a burden on both of them. She thinks she’s a bad mother, a bad partner, and a bad person. Where she’s at, her options are keep fighting or lay down and die. I hope that when I have a kid and if/when I get back to that place, I will not lay down and die. Not because I deserve better but because my family does.

I see so much of Boyfriend in her husband. You can see from his body language that he loves her and wants her back. He doesn’t want to go through this life with anyone else and is willing to do what he has to do to get her to a better place. I can only hope that when Boyfriend and I get married and if/when I get The Bell Jar dropped on my head, my marriage will look like that.

Life isn’t always pretty so this is a hard reality of marriage. Another couple who I was glad agreed to be interviewed was the divorced couple. She was so happy to marry him then and many years later, he was so happy to be rid of her now. I think a big part of their split was not just leading separate lives but his ego. He lost weight and had professional success and “was growing and growing” while his wife stayed the same.

Maybe she stayed the same because she was raising the kids. Maybe she was changing and he wasn’t as interested in her life anymore. Her revelation about his infidelity was so powerful. I can appreciate things changing but if you’re unhappy in your marriage or relationship and you say nothing, that’s a choice. If you become unfaithful to your partner, that’s a choice. Once you get beyond the age of youthful stupidity, I have no respect for infidelity. Rather than face the problem and deal with it, he chose to take the coward’s way out. I had a lot of respect for her and very little for him.

I absolutely adored the couple that had a commitment ceremony 13 years prior. They seemed like such fun and interesting people back then. Looking at their life now, middle age and a pair of kids, the legalities of marriage make complete sense. Jointly filing taxes, ICU and ER rights should something happen to their partner, POA should something happen to them mentally, transfer of assets in death. In a situation like that, it’s less about tradition and more about protecting your family. I love how they did a tiny living room wedding as well.

My favorite line from the movie was from the rabbi: “A wedding is a day and it’s easiest day to make happy. You’ve just thrown a ton of money at it. And liquor. I mean, come on. A wedding is easy to make happy. A marriage is hard to make happy because when you throw a ton of money and liquor at it, it often makes things worse.”

I like to think that because I’ve had hard life experiences and relationships and friendships go wrong, I’m more prepared for bad things to happen. I’m likely more prepared than someone who has had an easy life but you never know what life will throw at you. This film did a good job of showing you how unexpected life and love can be without depressing you. Definitely worth a watch.

Book or Gum?

The books for my Reddit person came in today. I was showing Boyfriend the books and described one as well written chick lit. He looks confused.

Me: “Haven’t you ever heard of chick lit before?”

BF: “It’s a piece of gum. 

Me: “Your funning me. What did you miss the 90s?”

BF: “I haven’t heard the term used for a book before.”

I freeze and stare blankly at him as I attempt to contemplate how much of the 90s and early 2000s he slept through. I then explained that it was 2 words and sent him the wiki link. My loveable dope.

Keep on Truckin’

I’m on a mailing list for a tiny house blog and saw this gem linked at the bottom of the article. I should have known it was Google. A young guy hired by Google decided that rather than rent the cheapest apartment option available to him ($2,000 a month), he’d live in a truck and off Google’s resources.

He has a bed, dresser, and a few hang up clothes. All bathing needs are done at the gym post-workout and all meals are had at Google’s cafeteria (company paid). He’s paid off his student loans by about $8,000 in under 5 months and made very respectable contributions to his retirement. I’m pretty sure a place that feeds you for free also has matching.

My first thought was “So no sex then?” but aside from some dating awkwardness, it’s kind of brilliant. Google pays for a butt-ton of employee expenses and he’s maximizing that in one of the U.S.’s most expensive real estate markets. He’s young, has no kids, no major ties so there’s no reason this is that bad of an idea other than some social awkwardness.

His lack of toilet could be easily remedied with a small composting toilet/bucket and the necessary moss or whatever else they use. In crunchy California, that wouldn’t be hard to come by. Finding a place to empty that might get awkward but it’s just a thought. If you want to know more about what goes on inside this guy’s head, he’s got a blog.

Richer Reading Life Book #2

Book #2 will be from the ultimate Indie Press. I had the chance to get in on the Kickstarter for Pedal Zombies but I didn’t. It was published by Elly Blue Publishing, an imprint of Microcosm Publishing, that is fully managed by its namesake (and Pedal Zombie’s editor) Elly Blue. An indie within an indie. Somewhere, a hipster is feeling a bit of pride about this.

I own Pedal Zombies for a couple of reasons. I didn’t kickstart it when I had the chance then saw it in B&N. I bought it out of respect for how far it came. I also like owning it because of glorious irony. I don’t know how to ride a bike. At least 3 hipsters feel off their fixies but aren’t quite sure why.

I think that revelation means my glowing review means even more. This book is perfect for what it is. Usually the zombies are the undead as we’ve always known them but some are zombie cars or sentient bikes or bike riding zombies. The core themes of bikes, zombies, and strong women are strong and go in so many great directions.

These stories are short, sweet, and rife with possibility. There wasn’t a story I disliked. They were all gems. You can feel the magic and size of these worlds despite the small number of pages. I’d love to see some of these explored more deeply. Overall, 5 out of 5 stars.