Music Monday: Happy Holidays

‘Tis the season to overplay Christmas music! Before everyone gets sick of the staples, these are my favorite classics.

Carol of the Bells by Deana Carter
The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole
Happy Xmas (The War Is Over) by Sarah McLachlan
Please Come Home for Christmas by The Eagles
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer by Meredith Brooks
The 12 Days of Christmas (Live) by Straight No Chaser
Do You Hear What I Hear by Idina Menzel
Good King Wenceslas by Loreena McKennitt
Christmas Eve in Washington by Maura Sullivan
Merry Xmas Everybody by Steps
Last Christmas by Jimmy Eat World
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays by *NSYNC

Music Monday: Thanksgiving Travel

‘Tis the season to hit the road. A lot of you will be going back to the places you were from and eating yourself stupid with relatives you may or may not like. I can’t do jack about the struggles of dealing with family but I can provide some tunes that might make the trip suck a little bit less. Have a happy turkey day folks.

Long Line of Cars by Cake
Highway to Hell by AC/DC
Ticket to Ride by The Beatles
I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers
No Cars Go by Arcade Fire
Holiday Road by Lindsey Buckingham
Drunk on a Plane by Dierks Bently
Black Sheep by Metric
Big Jet Plane by Angus and Julia Stone
Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes
Another Travelin’ Song by Bright Eyes
Every Day Is a Winding Road by Cheryl Crow
Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots
Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones

Not Worth the Wait

One thing that has always bugged me about ADELE was that she never did anything to stay relevant while taking time to raise her son. Her social media presence was nonexistent, she didn’t do any covers or charity concerts, no major appearances. While I think it’s great she was able to lie low, I feel disrespected as a fan. We’re great when she wants to make money for her art but otherwise, whatever.

I do like that she didn’t do the insane amount of media hype for her new music. We found out she had a new song when the video debuted and we could download it. It wasn’t like Katy Perry doing very dramatic stunts to hype her singles and albums. There it was. Because Adele is incredibly talented, we all accepted it.

Adele said the reason she waited so long to do anything was because she was afraid of making a lackluster product. Unfortunately, I think she still did that. There was one song on her album that instantly grabbed me like ‘Turning Tables’ and ‘One and Only.’ ‘River Lea’ was not good enough to make up for a prolonged absence and an underwhelming record.

Am I saying it’s not good? No. It’s good and will probably grow on me with more plays but on the first couple of listens, 25 can’t hold a candle to 21. You can’t follow up phenomenal with something that’s just good. I know Adele can do better and I’m disappointed I waited so long to be disappointed.

Music Monday: Boy Band Flashback

Today is a Flashback round of Music Monday with boy bands from the late 90s and early 00s. It may not be everybody’s thing, but they’re fun. I promise I’ll keep the mixes interesting for anyone who’s not into pop.

Backstreet’s Back – BSB
Tearin’ Up My Heart – *NSYNC
Swear It All Over Again – Westlife
Back Here – BBMak
I’ll Make Love to You – Boyz II Men
All or Nothing – O-Town
Because of You – 98 Degrees
Summer Girls – LFO
Body Bumpin’ – Mytown
Bump, Bump, Bump – B2K
You Got It (The Right Stuff) – NKOTB
When the Lights Go Out – Five
Large than Life – BSB

Phrasing

After my recent disagreement with my friend over his poor taste in revenge humor, I’ve decided there are phrases we need to stop using. They never work as intended and my instinctive response is to all of them is “Fuck off.” Here’s why these phrases never work.

Lighten up

What it’s supposed to mean: It’s a joke. Find the funny.

What it really means: My (somewhat offensive) joke fell flat. Rather than accept this, I’m going to get defensive about my ability to be funny and completely dismiss you.

How it’s usually taken: The recipient gets more offended and thinks you’re allergic to listening. Finds the joke even less funny than before.

Calm Down

What it’s supposed to mean: You need to mellow out to improve the situation.

What it really means: I don’t like that you’re being this reactive/emotional. I don’t want to deal with this. Please stop.

How it’s usually taken: THAT WAS CALM! (emotions escalate by a factor of 9,000)

Cheer up

What it’s supposed to mean: Don’t be so unhappy. I want to see you be happy.

What it really means: I don’t like you when you’re depressed/sad. I don’t want to be around you when you’re like this so please stop being like this.

How it’s usually taken: You’re uninterested in the reason I’m unhappy. Rather than care and listen, you want me to pretend I don’t have problems so you don’t have to feel guilty for not caring.

No offense

What it’s supposed to mean: I’m going to say something you may not want to hear.

What it really means: I’m going to say something offensive and probably unnecessary. Because I used a disclaimer, you can’t be mad at me.

How it’s usually taken: Braces for offensive statement. Debates the value of calling you on your shit or just smiling, nodding, and thinking you’re an idiot.

Smile

What it’s supposed to mean: Be happy!

What it really means: I’d rather look at someone smiling. If you’re not happy, you’re of no value to me.

How it’s usually taken: I’m not here for your viewing pleasure OR Let me turn my emotions on and off since they make you uncomfortable.

Same Scheisse, Different Day

I’ve tried to talk to Magenta a few times this week but she’s ‘been busy.’ Not too busy to watch a video about hair braiding and post it on another friend’s wall. Just too busy to answer my questions about her life or pretend to care about mine. I’m beginning to see why social media is such a bad idea.

We used to talk all the time. Now I can’t tell if she’s deliberately not talking to me, genuinely busy, or kind of avoiding me but doesn’t want to admit it version of busy. She’s made something resembling effort but it was around an audience. Not sure if it was because we were around each other and therefore required no effort on her part or if it was mostly a show.

I miss having a friend and a confidant. Magenta has plenty of others to choose from so she doesn’t need me. If her actions are any indication, she doesn’t want to be close again. She has made little to no effort to talk or spend time with me.

I shouldn’t want to either. I don’t trust her to be honest or open with me and I took her off my lifeline list the second she said something about ditching my negativity. If I’m ever staring down a bottle of pills, Magenta is not someone I want to call. It’s time for me to be my own friend and confidant.

When you have a regular breakup, everyone totally gets you blowing off events your ex is at. When it’s a friend breakup, you can’t talk about it and you’re still expected to play nice. I think I need to make a clean break but that requires I literally ditch all my other friends.

The way things have been going lately, this does not sound like the worst option. I’ve been seriously considering distancing myself from that group for a while. There’s a lot of petty drama and immature behavior. I was over it a few months ago. I’m over it right now.

There are two events I want to/should attend over the next couple of months. One a week from Sunday and another the first Saturday in December. I think plenty of space is going to be easy to come by.

The Spy with No Sense of Humor

Once again, I’m displeased with one of my friends who felt like creating drama. Bond takes our weekly bar trivia sessions pretty seriously. He focuses a lot on getting names right and even took it a little too personally when another trivia team decided to hate us. Some of his reactions were a bit immature so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by what happened last night.

Last night, he blew off trivia to see Spectre for a third time. He didn’t bother to mention this to any of us until about 5 minutes before trivia started even though we did a roll call. We were all supposed to be fine with these even though he usually rules the answer sheet and checks our standings for the season at least once a week. I’m pretty sure the ending hasn’t changed and they’ll still be airing it on Thursday.

I get that James Bond is his thing (hence the nom de plume) but if any of us had done the same thing, he’d give us some grief. He doesn’t care of Boyfriend or I don’t show up but if Riff or Edward or Henry miss a night, they hear about it at least a little bit. I was more annoyed than normal by his hypocrisy so I was a bit snarkier than I should have been. I lit the match but he dumped lighter fluid on it.

After mass grumbling about an impressively stupid round involving NBA players and emojis, Bond finally picks up on the fact that he’s missing out. They give out prizes for round winners and the nearby CVS had Halloween decorations on sale for 90% off. Boyfriend goes up to get the prize and the host disappears around the back of the restaurant. He returns with a talking skeleton with red light up eyes that is about 6’6. Of course many pictures were had.

It is typical for Bond to take pictures of us with our prizes, use a cartoon photo editor, and post them to our team Twitter account (You see what I mean about him taking this seriously?). His edit was to take the photo of Boyfriend and the skeleton, add a bunch of hearts, and the word bubble “Finally, someone to laugh at my jokes.”

Of all the jokes he could have made, this was probably the cheapest and laziest he could have made. He has a picture of Boyfriend for the first time in months and he uses to take a pot shot at me. I told him I thought it was mildly offensive and he basically said, “It’s just a joke. Lighten up.”

I’ll lighten up when your jokes are actually funny. Boyfriend and I agreed that if it was a joke about a new roommate, some dead historical figure, or someone’s campaign manager, we’d have laughed. If the person the joke is about isn’t laughing, you’re joke isn’t fucking funny.

I finally have cause to use the middle finger emoji and everyone starts advising me against it. Riff even said “He’s grumpy so be the bigger person.” I’m sorry, since when is being in a bad mood make it OK to be a jerk? It’s perfectly acceptable to be rude and dismissive to me and Boyfriend because he’s acting like a petulant teenager.

For the record, Boyfriend didn’t find it funny either. His first reaction was “Wow. Is that how you really feel?” He just let it go because I’m capable of stirring up enough trouble for the both of us with my temper and disinterest of suffering fools. Boyfriend stayed out of it until Bond posted it on Twitter. I don’t get to post photos of BF on social media without permission so Bond was more than a little bit out of line.

I was the bigger person but I hated being that way. Bond has acted like an immature twat monkey more than a few times these past few months. I don’t know what’s gotten into him but at some point in the last few months, his ability to see things from someone else’s perspective have taken a serious hit. Either he’s got to grow up or someone has to call him on his shit. I’ve got a finite number of days left where I can hold my tongue.