On Saturday January 11 at 8:46 AM, my son was born. He was a whopping 8 pounds 11 ounces and 21 inches long with a big melon head. It took me a while to fully write this out because little man can be very distracting and time consuming.
My birth plan has been to labor naturally for as long as I could but I was open to an epidural. I’m not known for my pain tolerance and I wanted to be with it once little man got here. As plans are won’t to do, it went completely sideways.
Many people, including medical professionals, told me “You’ll know when you’re in labor.” Bull. Shit.
Labor Myth: Labor and contractions won’t look how you think they will
The way labor pain was sold to me as crippling pain you couldn’t think through. I’d also heard that it’s higher in your belly, your back, and your abdomen. My pain was entirely in my pelvis and lower abdomen. It started slow and consistent before coming in waves.
I could still think and talk while contractions were happening so it took me waaaaaaay too long to realize those were, indeed, contractions. They started around midnight to so by the time it got to be 6 AM, I was exhausted, dehydrated, nauseous (dinner did not stay down) and just wanted rest.
I was discouraged from coming into the hospital until they were 5 minutes apart. I was too out of it to time them but I woke up my husband and told him we were going. He emptied the dog, loaded the car, and got me a wheelchair from our front desk because I wasn’t walking anywhere. One of our front desk clerks got to watch me go through a contraction because I refused to be moved while they were happening.
It was strange what I was capable of focusing on while in massive pain. I noticed my husband needed to turn and my brain knew to make a right. Unfortunately I was mid contraction so my mouth said “Just pick one!” He chose poorly.
We make it to the hospital and he goes to get me a wheelchair. I start to get checked in and the nice lady talks me through my contractions which are now 2 minutes apart. I make it to triage to be told I was fully dilated.
Internally I transform into the ‘fuuuuuuuuuuuu’ meme because that means no epidural and it’s go time.
Labor myth: Your water rarely breaks at the beginning of labor. Less than 25% of the time IIRC.
I have another one of those weird moments where I tell the nurses to not put the IV in my arm. The veins are buried and you’re not getting squat. Use my hand. I even told them I had to get my blood draws for prenatal testing from my hands. The brain is a weird thing sometimes.
My water didn’t break until I was in the delivery room. “I sprang a leak” were my exact words.
I watched an episode of My Crazy Birth Story and one woman said, “When it hits you, you have to push.” I’d been refraining from pushing for so long, I had to brace myself to actually push.
That may have been why Babbins was having some trouble. His heart rate wasn’t great and there was meconium (first poop) which is a sign of distress. I was also have trouble getting his massive head out (97% IIRC) so they had to bust out the vacuum. They tried to use their hands but HOLY FUCK that hurt. Unmedicated meant I felt everything. Once the vacuum was in there, it didn’t hurt anymore so definitely the better option.
Dads get the job of holding a leg and it doesn’t sound like a BFD but it was absolutely helpful. I refused to let him put it down because it hurt less. As I was pushing, the doctor told me we had to get him out or I’d need a C-section. I’m exhausted and in the worst pain of my life but the threat of major surgery was incredibly motivating.
You push through the contraction then stop so 2 more rounds plus one post-contraction extra I threw in and he was out. I pushed for about 20 minutes so Babbins was very ready to be born.
Perk of only pushing for a short time? He was a doll baby. The longer you push, the more likely your baby will look like a Yoda raisin. He’s beautiful, perfect, and (so far) very agreeable. I like him. I think I’ll keep him.
JesseJaneReads 