First World Rants

I have had a headache since yesterday, my facial spasm is going nuts, I didn’t sleep well, and generally just not in the mood for the human race. I am unbelievably sick of hearing about the following first world problems:

-How much work it is to have people come over, get their own plates and glasses, bring their own food, and generally don’t make you do more than answer the door. Imagine how much more work it would be if you had to go to someone else’s home, figure out parking, get your own food, and not just sit around and wait for us to show up.

-Lectures from skinny/fit women about how I shouldn’t be snarky about “skinny bitches.” Body positivity exists because fat people got sick of being treated like garbage. Don’t lecture me on something you commandeered because you didn’t like being left out. Someone made you feel bad about your body for 5 minutes? Make that your entire fucking life and then you can be a condescending twat about it.

-My boss is mean/sucks. My boss exploits me and is fine with it. She DGAF about me as a person to the point where she doesn’t know I’m getting married. I get not PTO, am paid at least $10K a year less than I’m worth, and pay for my own health insurance out of pocket. Do not bitch to me about your fucking job if you get benefits of any kind.

-Something went wrong with your vacation. I haven’t been on a plane since 2013. I haven’t had a paid day off since 2015. I dare you to ask me how many spare fucks I have to give about your trip being rained out.

If you’re going to complain about a first world problem, you may want to consider the audience before assuming your idea of a problem isn’t their idea of Tuesday.


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