Fashion Anti-Haul and Wish List

I’ve seen a few anti-hauls lately and they got my thinking. The only clothing I need might be another pair of denim capris to get through the summer. This will be determined as it gets warmer.

There are a few things I want. It’s the nature of being trapped in a consumerist society.

Kimono shift dress: Dolman style sleeves and a full length zipper, it can be worn cardigan style or as a dress. This will probably happen soon.

Tevas Universal: These would be practical for when FHubs and I go to the mountains this summer or if I finally get into kayaking. These will probably happen in the next few months. (And yes, those are supposed to be men’s shoes. My feet are kinda huge.)

Simplicity gauchos: Organic, fair trade, and all sorts of other hipster qualifications. The look comfy so maybe in a dark neutral.

Frida Wanderer shirt: I love bold details so this just looks lovely. It’s a solid wish list piece.

Handkerchief skirt: Allegedly this can be worn as a skirt, top, and cape so I’ve got a pin in this one.

Can I Lick Your Face? shirt: It’s a spoof from a favorite podcast and online community.

In recent exploits to find a bathing suit and browsing out of boredom, I’ve noticed quite a few trends I won’t touch with a 10 foot pole which brings me to

My Anti-Haul

Palazzo Pants: I am not a small person so swimming in my trousers is not a flattering look.

Halter Tops: Be it a dress, bathing suit, or top, I don’t like halter tops. I hate anything that pulls at my neck.

Dresses with back zips: I have a general policy against non-costumes I can’t get in and out of without help.

Stripes: Every minimalist or capsule wardrobe advocate loves stripes. I don’t. Give me polka dots any day.

Yellow: It is my least favorite color on the planet and some shades give me a headache. I’ve seen some pretty pieces this season but they can be pretty on someone else.

One-shoulder or off the shoulder tops: Regardless of the incarnation of this trend, I have never liked it. It feels like it would require more work to stay on than something with two straps.

Cold-shoulder tops: I’ve tried a variety of incarnations of this trend but I remain steadfastly underwhelmed.

Peter Pan collars: These always feel so constricting to me. These are all yours Zooey Deschanel

Skirts without elastic in the waist: I’m fat and 30. I need give and take in my clothes.

White pants: I just feel like I’m asking for it when I wear too much white, especially on public transit.

Blazers: I am seriously hoping to do away with my office job before the end of the year and it’s a pretty casual place. Can you say counter-productive?

Short shorts: My thighs touch. ‘Nuff said.

Chiffon: I don’t like how it feels against my skin.

Crop tops: I’m considering a more liberal two-piece bathing suit. Don’t push it.

Linen, wool, or acrylic anything: Itches. So many itches.

Jumpsuits and rompers: I am not taking off my entire outfit every time I have to pee.

If my No Way in Hell list describes your entire wardrobe, that’s fine. You do you. Part of maturing is defining your sense of style. The more you know yourself and your preferences, the less money you spend on trying to be something you’re not.

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