Make Enemies, Not Friends

This morning someone was completely blocking my path of my morning train. I went about my usual system and walked through him. If you block the doors people need to exit from, you get what you get. He called me a bitch for my trouble. It was unpleasant. I told my friends and my ‘friends’ about it.

I’m not going to lie. I was looking for an excuse to start something with Edward and call him out on his shitty behavior lately. What I didn’t expect was for Bella to take up his cause.

She had the exact same arguments as Edward basically saying “You had it coming” in a very nice way. When I called her out on it, she was not saying or insinuating that at all. She was just disagreeing with me. A lot. That wasn’t disrespectful at all. Yeah, adding a Disney picture to your lecture doesn’t make it nice.

When I asked what the point was in even saying anything because was creating unnecessary tension. She said she didn’t feel any tension at all. I can’t tell if she was being willfully ignorant, a tiny bit stupid, or just too high on her own superiority but there was definitely tension. When you are actively hostile toward your ‘friends,’ there’s always tension.

This group chat has gone from a place where friends talk about life to a place where Bella and Edward will basically attack you for not agreeing with them. If you’re lucky, they’ll be briefly hostile. If not, it will be a long, drawn out conversation that never needed to happen about why they’re right and you’re stupid. They’ll do it in such an insidious way that they can deny what’s right in front of them as being disrespectful, rude, and/or hostile.

What’s even more maddening? They will pretend everything is fine in a matter of days. They will pretend they took what was supposed to be a safe space for friends to interact and turned it into a battleground. They can pretend everything is fine when in actuality, you’re only making nice because you have friends in common.

With any luck, the people who are fed up with them will start to fracture away. Edward and Bella are in such deep denial about their behavior that I don’t see a big blow up happening. They are not welcome in my home and I have no intention of ever setting foot in theirs again. If we have to be in the same place at the same time, I plan on avoiding them. Speak enough words to fake politeness and resume ignoring them. Give them nothing about my life they can judge and lecture me for.

I’ve been replaying an old cliche in my head: If you  want a friend, be a friend. Edward and Bella have not been anyone you could pay me to call friend. I never particularly liked Edward and the only reason we speak to each other is the people we have in common. Bella and I were never close so there wasn’t much to lose, especially when she became more like Edward. She used to rein him in, now she backs him up.

Magenta has not been what I would consider a friend either. We’re friendly but she hasn’t be a real friend for at least a year. She has become closer to Bella as of late and it makes me think even less of her. A hostile, sanctimonious jerk and someone who abandons friends when they stop being ‘fun.’ A match made in hell. Riff would happily follow Magenta into the fiery pits of hell because he thinks she can do no wrong.

I figured I’d stop seeing those four once I had kids but I have no problem expediting the process. I don’t need bad feelings and dead weight in my life. If they can’t be bothered to meet the barest definition of friend, I don’t need to know them.


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