I told you it wouldn’t be long before a haul. I’ve posted before about how I discovered To Write Love on Her Arms at Firefly. They had copies of the book but the pages got that wave when the book has been exposed to too much damp. I waited and bought these two from their website. If You Feel Too Much is by TWLOHA founder and A Purpose for the Pain is by the arms on which love is written.
I was hoping Purpose would be written out like your average book but it’s instead a literal publishing Renee’s journal entries. Not quite what I was expecting but I hope it will still be insightful.
As for why I acquired these books, Boyfriend has done some research and he suspects I don’t just have depression. After hearing him out and doing my own research, I’m inclined to agree. We both suspect I have a mild form of Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is a much maligned illness that doesn’t have a clear definition. Each case is different since it stands on the borders of a few different things.
An official diagnoses must come from a professional so how true this is remains to be seen. But I’m prone to impulse purchases, depressive/Bad Days, mild moments of OCD-type urges, short fuses/bad tempers, and am well aware of my trust issues. Extreme forms of BPD often involve recklessness and self-harm. While never inclined to it personally, I appreciate where the self-harm comes from. Those people have so much pain and anguish that externalizing it provides an emotional release, however short lived.
In addition to being relevant to my interests, maybe these will shed some light on what I’ve been experiencing.