I’ve been poking around a lot of reddit groups of people with major drama.
I’ve come to loathe the phrase “I’ll always be there for you.” It’s almost always followed or preceded of some version of ‘but I’m not interested in dealing with you until you agree with me.’ Case in point.
I got the same crap from Magenta. Because I wasn’t super-enthusiastic about her throwing me away and shutting me out of her life once she got a boyfriend, she couldn’t ‘stomach my negativity’ and didn’t want me around. She readily admitted to pushing me out of her life. But I was still ‘one of the most important people in her life and she’d always be there for me and support me.’
Do you listen when you talk? Because there are some inherent fallacies in that logic.
Actions are louder than words. Magenta has made an effort to talk to me once since October. When I didn’t respond, I needed to explain myself. Anytime I try to talk to her, I get radio silence or monosyllables. But if I expect an explanation, I’m being clingy. Yeah, that’s some really supportive friendship right there.
If you have an issue with somebody, justified or not, don’t say you’ll ‘always be there.’ 9/10 it means ‘I’ll be there when you fall in line.’ Find a different variant that doesn’t include the word ‘always.’ It doesn’t mean what you think it means. I’ll be there if Magenta ever needs me or asks for help but as of right now, she’s not my problem and barely my friend.
I hate that I keep coming back to this but I’m not totally over it. I think I need to spend time with other friends to fill that hole in my life. I’d get over it faster if I didn’t have to deal with her and find ways to avoid explaining we’re barely friends and don’t talk. Since I don’t feel like dumping all of my other friends (who adore her), my progress is hindered.
I did make a new friend on Monday doing laundry oddly enough. I’m hoping we can become better friends. It will be good to have people outside my current circle.