The Bachelor Work Out

I will readily admit I started watching this show with Magenta and live texting it. That tradition lived on with the Monday premiere but she texted me. I didn’t have to be super-attentive since I was going for Viggle* points, tweeting, and doing this:

For the remained of the season, Fake Job Title will become “Connection.” I think I did at least 50 squats. I surprisingly managed to check off Disney. No one really cried or worried about the ‘right reasons’ on the first night but it looks like it will be a great season. We’ve got Keep It Weird Mandi, Queen Bitch and Producer’s Choice Lace, War Vet Jubilee, and the chick who doesn’t speak English too well. I’m so excited for the contrived drama.

In addition to making me get my ass off the couch during commercials, it also makes you aware of the media I’m watching. I’m not mindlessly consuming but am aware this guy is dating 20+ women under the premise of finding a wife inside of 3 months. That’s totally typical.

Each date is either an exercise in humiliation or forced romance that only billionaires can pull off in real life. You’re not talking about normal things over coffee for 2 hours because that’s boring to watch. Instead, go through this obstacle course in bridal gowns then a helicopter ride.

And the women’s only entertainment is working out and each other. There are no books, magazines, crossword puzzles, music, TV, movies, or podcasts. With nothing else to focus on, I doubt the women are thinking about whether or not they like the Bachelor.

The whole thing is breathtakingly contrived and horribly entertaining. I’m going to embrace this recipe for disaster and use it to get thighs of steel.

Viggle is an app that gives you points for watching TV. Certain shows and movies will have watch bonuses (3x) or trivia (50 -100 points per right answer). Some shows have streak bonuses (watch 5 and get 1,000 points). Anything under an hour and sports don’t have to be audio verified. You can match a max of 20 songs per day. You can only match a song once.

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